


Yearning

by Fallenfae



Series: Warriors shipfics [1]
Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/M, Pedophilia, Short, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenfae/pseuds/Fallenfae
Summary: Spottedleaf reminises on her past, and in doing so, realizes she has no problem giving back to the world. Safe to say, Firestar is no longer safe around her.
Relationships: Firestar/Spottedleaf (Warriors), Spottedleaf/Thistleclaw (Warriors)
Series: Warriors shipfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887913
Kudos: 26





	Yearning

Spottedleaf reminised, idly recalling back the times of her childhood in which were nothing but nightmares dressed and prettied up, acting as daydreams. She was a child. It was easy to be manipulated.

Sat here in the dark coating of midnight - crickets chirping, a serenade into her reclusive, traumatic fantasies. A death march, if you will, as she would always begin weeping at the thought of her life greedily stripped away from her by eyes only searching for her physical beauty; which stunted most whom looked at her. A cheer accompanying her assasination. 

The suitors were endless to choose from, and yet Spottedleaf knew for a fact they never would look past her appearance. The same quality Thistleclaw harboured - made her feel special and loved for once. His sharp, warm yellow eyes piercing into hers. He was double her age and yet still, she knew he was a catch. Snowfur was lucky to have him.

There was a reason she chose to be a medicine cat.

He made Spottedleaf tremble - his dominance, his authority. It scared her into submission and it was so delicious.

Thistleclaw had a way of making her feel like her best self. Spottedleaf always felt prettiest around him; soft and gentle and fragile against his course fur, his rough frame towering over her (in part because she was a literal child - and in part because he was generally one of the tallest cats in Thunderclan.) Spottedleaf felt so safe around him and yet she felt so on edge. He was so big - so rough, so dangerous. She was hooked.

And here she was, in the deep of night with no illumination but the dim stars and moon casting silver-blue hue on the soft sand of camp, huddled into the medicine den - longing to go back before it all went wrong. She loved him, the problem was that he took advantage of her in the most disgusting way possible. The night was too unbearable to recall - too horrifying to recount.

Safe to say, he touched her -- he touched her in the worst places possible. She squirmed, screamed and wept. She begged him to stop, clinging onto his forepaws and digging her claws into them. His large body, before having made her feel protected, made her feel so violated. He betrayed her trust, took everything he could from her and left her with nothing.

And now she hated him for it.

If only she knew. If only she knew from the start; that his gifts were bribes, his compliments were grooming. Maybe then she wouldn't fallen for a monster.

That didnt stop her from feeling utter heart crushing pain when she knew her brother and Thistleclaw's son killed him.

In any case, it fucked with her for years to come. Since his death, she couldn't do more than avoid puddles and isolate herself, refusing appearance based comments in desperation to be valued as a functioning cat rather than eye candy. It reminded her too much of Thistleclaw.

It astounded her, that when a little flame cat - not much older than she was back then, joined Thunderclan under Bluestar's word. It was an anomaly to be taken this seriously as a former kittypet, and yet there he was. A clumsy, underdevelopped, plump tomcat. Though to Spottedleaf, it didn't matter.

He treated her as an equal, even without the former knowlege of her abuse - even without the whisperings of the adults to tiptoe around the subject. He didn't even seem to be stricken by her beauty, and by this revelation, Spottedleaf wondered just how groomed the female kittypets were for him to see it as the status quo.

She took a liking to him. And while she knew it would be hypocritical to pursue him, he provided her with what she wanted; and it wasn't that difficult to realize he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

His small body.

The same distance between her and Thistleclaw held between her and Firepaw now.

His innocence.

The same innocence Spottedleaf harboured as an apprentice - the innocence none of the older toms had. 

His ambition.

The same ambition Spottedleaf had before dulling her spark and taking up the medicine cat position to keep safe.

Hell, if her dream was in reach - she'd gladly become the monster she fought off as a child.

Firepaw was what she yearned for.

So through her death, she continued. She'd watch him as he drifted off from childhood crushes, anger boiling in her traumatized veins. She would get him.

Spottedleaf burdoned him with nightmare after nightmare, she touched him and reminded him that he belonged to her. 

And even when she watched herself rot into a black souled monster, she laughed quietly. Karma lashed out. It was a corrupted mix of love - no, addiction to the purer affection he offered her, and the sadism boiling in her, a bitter need to give back to the world what it cruelly gave to her.

Through age gap and road block sluts like Sandstorm and Cinderpaw - Through fucking death Spottedleaf would rid herself of her problems.

She was an angel now, and Fireheart could not escape her nightmares.


End file.
